Excellent! Betrayed wife here. The words spoken here not only apply to what needs to be done after infidelity is discovered but in everyday marriage. If only these four items were worked on prior to the infidelity, there would not have been an affair! Thanks Samuel for another thought provoking video.
To healing in spirit, soul and body!
Voly

I don't agree the UF should sit there and take any verbal abuse or faithful spouse. I don't believe this is going to bring healing in the long run.

A/R talks about safety for both betrayed and unfaithful. When the unfaithful is verbally attacked by being called every name in the book it pushes them way. When information they shared is thrown back in their face, they want to close up and not do it again.

And depending on the circumstances of the relationship before the affair, this could very damaging. We don’t know what was happening in other people's lives. This is not an accuse for an affair i just want to make a point the we should be encouraging safety for both partners.

I believe the betrayed should be as angry as they want to be, but for the sake of healing and the reconciliation of the relationship both parties need to be safe for each other. We do sign contracts before EMSO and MFL that states, "no physical or verbal abuse, we are to be safe for "us" not in these words but pretty close.

https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&source=web&cd=&ved=0ahUKEwir8_nO-ufkAhUE...