Samuel breaks down a tool in recovery that will help diffuse conflict and restore intimacy much quicker.
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I would highly recommend giving this a try.
Comments
One sided
I have been working hard at this. However, my betrayed spouse is so angry that he is mean back to me. He claims he has a right to be angry and express it ( and I don't disagree) but his words are so hurtful that we end up going backwards in recovery. Doing this one sided on my end has not been effective because of this. I will keep trying, but it can be very discouraging.
you'll need an expert third party to be in between you both
c. marie, you need help my friend. you can't do it on your own. i would see about the weekend or one of the programs on the site. try these two: https://www.affairrecovery.com/product/ems-weekend and the online version: https://www.affairrecovery.com/product/ems-online the fact is, if you try and do it on your own, who sets boundaries and who is able to run interferance and protect each of you? no one. it doesn't work well my friend. you need an expert third party who can step in, establish boundaries and ground rules and set the course of action.
If I were you, I'd ask him to do the weekend so you can get expert help and stop continuing to repeat the same pattern of pain and hurt.
Amen
Without a doubt best advice you can get in this whole fiasco!!! As long as both parties will cooperate. I've struggled for 5 long years to convince my wh of this and I am finally ready to draw a hard boundary on this fact!!