Q&A How Can I Get My Mate to Understand the Good Times Weren’t a Cover up for the Affair?

Submitted by Rick_Reynolds 7 years ago

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Question: 

My wife can't get over why I took my family on vacations and during that time frame was having an affair. I have told her I love her and my family and love our vacations but the affair was about me not them. What do I do to get her to understand that it wasn't a cover up for my affair? She keeps holding on to these vacation memories but they are tainted to her so it's a vicious circle.

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I would highly recommend giving this a try.
 
-D, Texas

I struggle with this too. I

Submitted by [name hidden] on

I struggle with this too. I am not trying to hold onto anything. I just feel my UH wasn’t really present with me on our vacations, because he has admitted that he did think of the affair partners while we were on some vacations together. There were texts and on occasions phone calls. He destroyed many memories for me. My UH even sent AP photos of himself, or videos of the nice scenery we were visiting... so to me is as if he wasn’t really there with me. He was physically there but not PRESENT. I want to erase those memories of him and I together on some random place. It was tainted for me.