I remember my ex-husband's ex-Affair Partner telling me that "The act of not forgiving is like taking poison every day and waiting for the other person to die" .... and I thought to myself, what right did she have telling me this? She was the one who was the active participant in the very betrayal that destroyed my marriage and family. After many events and lots of time, and him betraying her, she and I eventually came to stand on the same side of betrayal and forgiveness (even though it was at differing degrees - me being the wife with children and her being the AP). And she still held true to her prior statement.... I took the step back and gained a deeper appreciation for the verse "Lord, please forgive them for they know not what they do" and then I forgave both my now ex-husband and the now ex-AP. Trust me when I tell you that forgiving her was easier than forgiving him. I struggle with the very act of forgiveness of him every day, especially since we are in the midst of a heated custody battle..... But I will testify that I am much happier and at peace and was so after the first instance that I forgave him. Now he is the angry, bitter one .... and I am growing in my faith in the Lord and moving forward by no longer being tethered to the anger, hurt and bitterness brought about by the betrayals in my marriage. I now know that forgiveness is FOR ME! Not for anyone else.... I choose to be happy and at peace.
Forgiving - on going but worth it
I remember my ex-husband's ex-Affair Partner telling me that "The act of not forgiving is like taking poison every day and waiting for the other person to die" .... and I thought to myself, what right did she have telling me this? She was the one who was the active participant in the very betrayal that destroyed my marriage and family. After many events and lots of time, and him betraying her, she and I eventually came to stand on the same side of betrayal and forgiveness (even though it was at differing degrees - me being the wife with children and her being the AP). And she still held true to her prior statement.... I took the step back and gained a deeper appreciation for the verse "Lord, please forgive them for they know not what they do" and then I forgave both my now ex-husband and the now ex-AP. Trust me when I tell you that forgiving her was easier than forgiving him. I struggle with the very act of forgiveness of him every day, especially since we are in the midst of a heated custody battle..... But I will testify that I am much happier and at peace and was so after the first instance that I forgave him. Now he is the angry, bitter one .... and I am growing in my faith in the Lord and moving forward by no longer being tethered to the anger, hurt and bitterness brought about by the betrayals in my marriage. I now know that forgiveness is FOR ME! Not for anyone else.... I choose to be happy and at peace.