My husband does not finish well. He goes through the motions, showed up for the online meetings, read the materials, but do I see evidence over the years of it sinking in? He did enough to make a good showing and "get by." What if a spouse stops the behavior that led to the infidelity but does not stop other hurtful behaviors - keeps life SO chaotic that there's no time to focus on healing and changing? I don't think he'd be foolish enough to cheat again, but change has been scant. I've reread the portions of the manual on relapse and see that, if a spouse returns to the "pre-contemplative stage" after relapse, you may think about leaving the marriage - but, back then, I was in too much pain to understand that point and the implications of what it meant. I still won't leave my marriage as the Lord is not on MY time frame but it does show me that I must work on myself in a healthy (not selfish or self-serving) way. Is it possible to restart healing & growth even years after infidelity has happened?
My husband does not finish