I think this is an odd post. I think that the question on the table during the first 2 years of recovery is if the Wayward partner is telling an accurate accounting of their partner's behavior, or picking and choosing what to play up. They already have a pattern of judging their partner, blaming them, belittling their contribution to a problem, swaying others to their side of how horrible their partner is, and then psychologically damaging their loved one. For the second person in particular, if they think their betrayed partner can't feel in their soul that they miss their AP, then they are heartless. It is likely hurting them to a point of insanity.
What was done to the betrayed partner is up there as one of the largest psychological uphill battles one has to climb. I'd be willing to bet that the betrayed spouses aren't rising with the sun and saying, "I want to cause hell today." They are likely being triggered. You have to take those triggers seriously, especially if they developed PTSD from it.
The Wayward Skew
I think this is an odd post. I think that the question on the table during the first 2 years of recovery is if the Wayward partner is telling an accurate accounting of their partner's behavior, or picking and choosing what to play up. They already have a pattern of judging their partner, blaming them, belittling their contribution to a problem, swaying others to their side of how horrible their partner is, and then psychologically damaging their loved one. For the second person in particular, if they think their betrayed partner can't feel in their soul that they miss their AP, then they are heartless. It is likely hurting them to a point of insanity.
What was done to the betrayed partner is up there as one of the largest psychological uphill battles one has to climb. I'd be willing to bet that the betrayed spouses aren't rising with the sun and saying, "I want to cause hell today." They are likely being triggered. You have to take those triggers seriously, especially if they developed PTSD from it.