sorry for the delay. had the flu. fact is, it's not about what his motives are or this or that, it's about making sure you, the betrayed spouse, feel safe. he will need to understand if you don't feel safe, why would you do it and make you feel even more pain and willfully cause a trigger, ya know? this may also help if you haven't watched it yet: https://www.affairrecovery.com/qa-what-each-spouses-role-handling-triggers anything i can do please let me know.
thank you for your comment