hi jmh78....i think it's somewhat normal to think that way. we want to help our spouse. we want to save our marriage and family. so we hear something that touches an issue and we think, yes they need to hear that. it's not a blanket statement that you hear something that's relative to your spouse and you're immediately being self righteous or sabotaging your healing. however, if you're fixating on what they need, never working on your own recovery or if you're only focused on what they need, but not what you need and what changes/healing/awareness you need, perhaps just being more open is part of the answer and being more self aware is an adjustment you need to make. it's a normal part of life that we hear something and we think it would be great to have our spouse hear it. it's all about the heart. we care we love we want the best for them. we also have to be aware of what we need in life and in recovery as well. hope that answers your question well. thanks for posting and watching.
good question....not simple...
hi jmh78....i think it's somewhat normal to think that way. we want to help our spouse. we want to save our marriage and family. so we hear something that touches an issue and we think, yes they need to hear that. it's not a blanket statement that you hear something that's relative to your spouse and you're immediately being self righteous or sabotaging your healing. however, if you're fixating on what they need, never working on your own recovery or if you're only focused on what they need, but not what you need and what changes/healing/awareness you need, perhaps just being more open is part of the answer and being more self aware is an adjustment you need to make. it's a normal part of life that we hear something and we think it would be great to have our spouse hear it. it's all about the heart. we care we love we want the best for them. we also have to be aware of what we need in life and in recovery as well. hope that answers your question well. thanks for posting and watching.