In 2002 I got married to single mom in order to get a green card. I looked at her more as a girlfriend and did whatever I wanted to do the first two years of our marriage. After 2 years I committed to actual marriage. After 9 years she ended up in an emotionally entangled affair with a mutual friend. After about a year of me trying to win her back through manipulation and my failed suicide attempt she decided to work on things. She ended the affair late 2012 but relapsed summer 2016 with same AP and said she couldn't trust me and felt she couldn't control her life because I manipulated her and controlled her into being in the relationship. She wants to build a friendship and see where it goes. She suffers from an autoimmune disease. We’ve tried the bootcamp & I’m in HH. She wants to get a job to get on her feet so she can gain independence from me including AP. Now she doesn't want a divorce and wants to work through her feelings, wants. She’s not stopping the affair and if she was forced to come back our marriage is destined to doom. She said that if and when she breaks off the affair she will let me know. Now she empathizes with me. But she has her guard up. We are practically roommates who are trying to build a relationship. During the week she spends 3 nights @AP. I'm praying and waiting.