Q&A How Can He Not Get It?

We've been dealing with the aftermath of the emotional affair for three years and my finding out that it wasn't just emotional for over a year. He's been absolutely wonderful dealing with my stress, and my trauma, and my anger, and my hurt ever since I uncovered the truth of the affair last year. But it still seems to be my problem. I know he feels remorse, but I feel like he doesn't seem to get that this is His issue and that He has serious issues that he needs to work on. I appreciate everything that he is doing to help me cope. But I really feel like we are going nowhere as long as he keeps treating this as a "helping me heal problem" He won't talk about the affair at all. He will now reach out to let me say what needs to be said... but I need to hear the truth. And I need to see effort and fixing what is wrong inside of him before I can trust that he is not just smoothing things over so that he can move on to the next diversion.