He keeps telling me that although we had problems, he was happy in the marriage. Then he’d tell me he cheated because of his past - that it had made him have low self-esteem and self-hate. But if he had low self-esteem and self-hate, then how was he ever truly happy? I can’t make it make sense that he tells me he liked the attention she was giving him and every action that he took, whether it be texting or talking with her or kissing her, was because he liked the attention but then turn around and tell me he stopped it because he didn’t like that kind of attention. But he always went back to her. How does it tie into his past abuse? Wouldn’t it make him more wary of the attention someone is giving him and like an alarm would go off and say caution!