We've been married for 35 years. Our D-Day was 5 months ago. My wife confessed to her 9 month adulterous relationship that ended June 1997. That was 23 years ago! I never suspected a thing! Her adultery partner was part of the sales team of which she traveled with extensively. Our daughter was in kindergarten at the time. I have an individual counselor to help me with PTSD, my wife is in Hope for Healing, and also has an individual counselor to help her with her issues. During the disclosure task, I learned that she had cold feet the weeks leading up to our wedding and didn't tell anyone. I also learned that she had a 2 year emotional limerence with one of our friends and coworker 30 years ago ending in 1990 when my wife left work to give birth to our daughter. Finally, I learned that she is a victim of child sexual abuse. All these secrets and the number of years makes it difficult to figure out where her head was and when were we on the same page. I have constructed a long list of losses I've been grieving over, but I've been praying that God would help me move to a "Forgiveness Event". Must I be completely finished with the grieving task before I can move to forgiveness?