My question is about personal healing vs marriage recovery work. After full disclosure my wayward spouse has come to realize that there are some things he needs to begin working on healing from. He is dealing with bulimia and binge eating disorder, alcohol abuse (binge drinking that has lead to engaging in multiple affairs while intoxicated), pornography, and a potential sex addiction. He has hid the eating disorder all of his life and didn't understand in it's entirety the seriousness of this disorder so much so that during his admission to me he claimed he'd never heard of the term bulimia. I've come to learn that he's a pathological liar, lacks empathy or remorse and tends to be emotionally disconnected. I'm discovering now that he's had multiple one night stands for the last 16 years we've been together, including prostitutes, and recently contracted an STD (HPV). Devastated would be understatement because I thought I'd married and built a life with a completely different person. We are enrolled in EMS Online, he has began seeing a psychiatrist and beginning to attend online support groups. Sometimes he seems really overwhelmed but still trying to juggle it all. Given this information, do you suggest he focus on healing himself first, then our marriage? Or can both be done simultaneously?