Q&A How Can the Church Support Couples after Infidelity?

How can the church learn to help marriages in recovery? I appreciate the encouragement & prayer, but they seem so ill-equipped in the area of infidelity. The other day in conversation with my pastor he tried to dance around the word affair and infidelity. When I said "we call it infidelity because that is what it was" he said I had unforgiveness, and needed to stop hurting my husband by using those words. He meant well, I know he did. We're 15 months out from d-day, and moving along in healing. My husband doesn't have a problem with those words. Pastors are often the "first responders" in these situations, yet as well-meaning as they are have no clue. I have often felt rushed in recovery just so I can be "spiritual" again. After just 3 months I was told I was bitter, simply because I was still hurting so bad. We didn't come across EMSO until 6 months out. I am so thankful we did, but how much healthier it would have been if we could have had the right help in those first few days and weeks. I'm not sure if it is because this has hit me personally, but infidelity seems to have a new face. God fearing, Jesus loving men (& women) end up in affairs. The church desperately needs to be educated on the trauma of it all. How and should we approach this with our pastors? Do we just leave it alone and hope that others "figure it out"?