My husband and I are in EMSO and in week 10. I am the betrayed and my husband is a SA. Weeks 4 to 7 were extremely unstable. We have managed to start working together. I have a handle on my anger now, I work tirelessly to make sure he feels safe, heard and supported. I now validate my own feelings as he is unable to. I try and validate his feelings and look at our conflicts using the full picture of both our struggles. I create solutions for our conflicts that meet both our needs and he is always receptive to the solutions. I am working on helping him with shame reduction in the way I speak with and interact with him. I do this with full knowledge that my own actions have made the task of shame reduction much harder for him. The problem is I can not sustain this long term. I am struggling with resentment of how slow his recovery seems and how much work I have to do to de-escalate situations and keep things under control. While I feel good about the outcome of my efforts I do not feel good about the progress as to me it feels like if I make one mistake it will all fall apart. We are in individual counseling he is on step 3 in SAA. How can I continue to support myself and hold our tenuous truce together without burning myself out?