We’re almost 3 years from the first D-Day and 11 months from the 2nd. There have been multiple affairs. The first was an emotional affair where kissing took place one evening after drinks. A one-night-stand occurred after out of state after the first D-Day. There were also minor affairs in between. My question is, how can someone love you even during the betrayal? My husband has tried to explain that he never stopped loving me, but he knows that what he did was not love. He says he was very confused during that time and he never actually wanted to be with the affair partner. He says she never mattered and he thought she made him feel better about himself. He felt this particular affair partner conditioned & seduced him. She knew the right things to say sometimes but he does not use that as an excuse. He has explained that what happened out of state even was distressing and traumatic. That he felt sick and dead inside and thought it would make him feel better but did the opposite. I wish I could wrap my mind around this. I feel empathy knowing his past as a child and what was happening during the affairs even though its not an excuse. I know technically its been 3 years but I feel haunted. I know my husband is committed and fights for me everyday.