Our first D-Day was in April. I lied for 4 months about things I had done. Big lies and little lies but all equally damaging. My wife showed grace by continuing to work through these things. After more lies she wanted a divorce. D-Day 2 was August 25th. I told her it was everything, but it wasn’t. She had to dig to find more. She was burdened with finding the truth. The most recent D-Day Aug 31st. By digging through GPS records she found all the times I had been at the AP’s house. What was 3 times of physical sexual interactions is now 13. The physical part of the affair was no longer just June and July, it lasted from April ‘17 through February ‘18. Me not remembering is not an excuse. Me not digging is not an excuse. When we had our EMSO call on August 29th we were in a good place. Still rough but at least promising. She said to me she just wanted me to be strong and keep fighting like I had always said I would. Now she has given up on us and outright hates me, but I don’t want to give up. I want to fight. I know I can’t control if she can live with all this new information. But how can we move on with both having the fear I’m not remembering even more? Or her having that fear that if I do remember something more that I will be honest and tell her?