Q&A How Can We Talk When My Buttons Are Pushed?

Hi Rick Question from the unfaithful again. Last week you answered my question about flooding which was great. Now I am trying to avoid divorce but it looks impossible; the flooding continues and I can't talk about affairs with any success. The fights are dangerous and I have been to hospital twice. I have two places to live but don't want to leave our home. I stayed one night with a coworker and one with an old AA sponsor. This, however, put her over the edge because he had an affair with a woman and left his wife for her. She is now deceased and he lives alone. Financially and sobriety wise it's a good place for me, but to save a dying marriage it’s probably the wrong place for me. She says she's filing on the 16th. My question is how do I talk to her when she is pushing every button I have which totally triggers my anger and is driving me away? It's so hard because I know I love her and deserve the injuries I have received but I can't stay focused on recovery or anything. Is it time to throw in the towel and move on? Thanks again. -The one who broke a heart and now has a broken heart