My husband had a short-lived emotional affair with a long-term friend of his. What is especially painful for me, is the affair partner was consistently quite cruel to me and flagrantly disrespectful towards our relationship for decades. I raised concerns over the friendship multiple times over the 15 years I have been with my husband, but was repeatedly promised the person who became the affair partner was "safe." It feels like another layer of betrayal that I allowed my husband into the vulnerable space housing my fears and that is who he chose. The affair would absolutely be painful no matter what, but I'm having an especially hard time getting over that he rewarded her truly disgusting pattern of behavior and personally brought-to-life what he knew were my worst fears.