Q&A How Do I Overcome My Fears of Contracting an STD from My Wayward Spouse?

Submitted by Rick_Reynolds Wed, 07/10/2019 - 09:34

To watch the video please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
To watch the video, please purchase a subscription to the Recovery Library.
Gain unlimited access to over 1,800 articles and expert Q&A videos.
Already a Recovery Library member? Log in to listen to the full recording.

Question: 

Since discovery, I have developed this major fear of contracting an STD. We’ve both been tested & are free of any STDs as of 3 months ago. My husband says he is no longer acting out & I am making him wear condoms anyway because he has lied so much in the past saying he wasn’t having affairs when he really was....perhaps he is still acting out and lying. Or perhaps he will have another affair in the future & give me and STD at that point. He has admitted to 2 affair partners and never used protection. I can’t trust myself to believe him now (even if he’s doing the work) because I always believed him in the past. We both very much dislike using condoms & they sometimes affect his erection preventing us from having intercourse. How do we move forward with this major fear of mine?

Sections: 

RL_Category: 

RL_Media Type: 

Fear of STD’s

Submitted by [name hidden] on

Unfortunately your husband failed to protect you, so it’s a natural inclination to have the need to protect yourself. After my husband’s affair, a one night stand with a much younger woman, was discovered, I made him use condoms. Unfortunately 3 months in, one broke. Read up on STD’s/STI’s. Arm yourself with knowledge. Remove that control from your husband at this time. It’s okay to protect yourself, in fact, it’s neglect if you don’t. Sadly, it’s more likely we’ll all contract HPV in some form or another if nothing else. Make your husband have routine HIV testing and you be consistent to follow up with a reputable OB/Gyn. Get tested for HPV every year with your PAP test as it is transmitted by skin to skin contact and impossible to test men for. I’m sorry for your fear. You’re not alone.

What type of affair was it?

Our free Affair Analyzer provides you with insights about your unique situation and gives you a personalized plan of action.
Take the Affair Analyzer

What to read next

Q&A How Do I State Expectations without Being Codependent?
Q&A Is My Lack of Emotion Normal or Am I Experiencing Something Much Worse?
Q&A How Do I Get Past or Heal From the Hurtful Things My Husband Said About Me to His Affair Partners?
Q&A Why Would My Husband Lie about His Desire for Me?
Q&A How Do I Know She Believes What I Say?

Free Surviving Infidelity Bootcamp

Our experts designed this step-by-step guide to help you survive infidelity. Be intentional with your healing with this free 7-day bootcamp.
Learn More
head-silhouette
 
I would highly recommend giving this a try.
 
-D, Texas