We are about 3 months from D-day and I am the hurt spouse. My husband has been totally honest and taken many steps to get healthy. In one video Rick says he told Stephanie that if he is not meeting with his accountability group that she should divorce him. Also in EMSO the importance of community is stressed. But there doesn't seem to be much as far as how a person can get that accountability. My husband isolated himself from everyone but his APs for the past few years. He has a few guy friends left and he doesn't want to turn those relationships into one of him going to them with his problems weekly. He is not a part of a church community. When I remind him the importance of accountability he feels very defeated and says he doesn't know how to do that. I would like the motivation to come from him as well and not be something I am forcing or requiring him to do, but back to Rick's statement, it does seem like something that should be a requirement for safety in the relationship. I think many of us would appreciate more details or suggestions on how to make this work.