We are 8 months past his 5 month affair that has left him filled with shame and regret. Not just for what he did to me but all his realizations about how manipulated he really was during the affair. I feel I'm at the acceptance stage and want to move forward. I feel I've asked all the questions I needed, spoke it about it at nauseam, and analyzed it to pieces. And yet the end result is still the same, he was with another woman! We've cried over the loss of my old husband as if he died on that trip that started the affair. I've realized I too died as I will never see the world the same. And I know our marriage needs to be new and that excites me to have a fresh start after 22 years. But I don't think he's there. When we talk about current issues he always refers to past problems. When I ask him about his favorite memories he goes back 20 years. I'm begging him to see me for who I am today and treat me as the woman who has fought for him worked so hard for our marriage and is really trying to use the tragedy to make myself better. But he says he doesn't know why but he can't see it all or fully free the appreciation of me. Is this a sign of bigger problems or just him being at a different stage of grieving?