This is such a good question. I too had to break my inner vow and continuously have to forgive myself for doing it. The way I was able to reconcile it is that God's call to attempt restoration when there is true repentance is a higher level of authority than my inner vow. But it took me years to get there.

I understand Rick's point, but I don't see making an inner vow to oneself to not stay in a marriage where there has been the emotional abuse of adultery as an "illogical" vow. It seems completely logical to me. But then, I am one who made it so of course I think it is logical.