I am an unfaithful husband with instances of infidelity behaviors spanning over the entire 25 years of our married life. Accidental discovery in 2013 understandably blew away the only world of my spouse. In the last 7 years. We transmitted the untransformed pain to each other and to innocent bystanders including kids. Recently, we did Bootcamp and currently in EMS Online. I made complete disclosures in its entirety-complete breadth and depth. My spouse withstood it with extreme grace and courage. We do see the healing touch of the truth even in the early phase of our recovery. I am confused with respect to my state of mind. It seems as if I am in a dream. I find my sensations numbed as if I am oblivious of reality. I am dutifully doing everything that is required for our healing including being safe to my spouse and being totally transparent even for my thoughts. But, yet, I feel sort of a vacuum and a strange calmness inside me. I do get distressed when my spouse is upset. What is it and if it is normal? What can I expect?