Q&A Is It Possible to Reconcile, Given the Waywards Current Emotional State?

I am a betrayed husband, about 9 months since full disclosure. EMS Online helped me greatly, I am moving forward with my healing process, some days are good others aren't. The rage, anger and bad behaviors that emerged after d-day are mostly gone, but the pain, hurts and overwhelming sadness still here daily. My wife, is stuck in shame, and guilt, when looking throughout the marriage, it seems that it is overwhelming her beyond what she can cope with, she had 2 suicide attempts, and few mental breakdowns after d-day, which are a priority to focus on before anything else. I am left usually -not intentionally- alone carrying the weight of all this, life and the kids and I know that my capacity is running thin. Would emotional immaturity be unsafe in a marriage, especially after betrayal? When do I get a break before I break?