My husband had a three year sexual affair with my dearest friend until discovery- which only happened because I found them out . Both families were very close and we did everything together. My husband insists she was a good friend to me and didn’t mean any harm. He thought I was irrational for asking him to promise not to even say hello to her. I was judged by my in-laws for not being forgiving and claimed my ‘demand’ was evidence of that. I am on a journey of healing but this mentality for me is another form of betrayal. I cannot fully feel safe with him as long as he has this frame of mind and as long as he cannot go out of his way to help his family understand the truths he is learning. He tells me he recognises his mistakes but finds it difficult to own up to his learnings to his family - instead allowing them to blame and judge me for not getting over things better, for not forgiving and generally for reeling and feeling the way I feel.