We’ve been married for 31 years and together for 35. We’re best friends, inseparable, even the sex is great! BUT, I had 3 emotional affairs that turned physical at their end. My husband found out about one 4 years ago from a “friend” the day I ended it. I denied the other affairs until 8 months ago when a trigger surfaced. I then disclosed everything, trickling over 4 weeks. He has filed for divorce because I lied by omission for 20+ years and trickled disclosures, therefore I’ll always be a liar. He misses what he thought we had. Nothing more to discuss. He made me move cities. When I try to discuss, he says "stop", leaves the room, or hangs up on me. During disclosures we are told “don’t be defensive”, “don’t correct”. Now when trying to correct things he throws back in my face. He says he must divorce to explore and ever consider choosing me again. Is this common? Is there a way to reconnect or get him to engage before throwing 35 years away?