After my affair ended I learned that my affair partners’s spouse had cheated on him. It became clear that I was pursued as a revenge affair. The affair was a mess, with my affair partner being an ex-boyfriend, me trying to avoid his advances but ultimately getting sucked into his lies and manipulation. I was hurting, and his attention was meeting a need that had gone unmet for a long time in my marriage. I did not want to be physical with him but he was persistent and coercive. When we did have sex on a single occasion it was very traumatic for me and I suffered from panic attacks for weeks as a result. I struggled to fully disclose the details of the affair to my husband but when they finally came out I experienced brief psychotic episode due to the trauma. It has taken me a year to heal but I finally feel a need to apologize to my affair partner’s spouse for the role that I played. We have seen each other in public several times since D-Day. I have drafted an apology but I don’t want to invade her peace by sending it. Do you think it is best to just let it go? I know that we will encounter each other often and I am just tired of ignoring the issue and playing “pretend normal” but I don’t want to make things worse.