I had a one night stand in June of 2021. After disclosure, I found out about my spouses' search for escorts, dating tips and porn use, at different points in time. We are now in EMS Online and focusing on my betrayal (I am the unfaithful, in that sense). I have worked hard the past 6 months to work on myself and understanding why I cheated, as well as to be safe for me and my spouse, and will keep working. However my spouse did not focus on being safe for me, because he has dealt with the pain of my betrayal. I feel trapped, because I also have triggers and feel incredibly unsafe, but my spouse is unable to extend empathy for me right now. What do we do when both cheated, if my betrayal was 'worse' than his?