Two years past DDay, and despite Harboring Hope and EMS Online, we are not in that "better than it ever was" place we both hoped for. I am becoming resigned to the fact that things will not get better than this. My husband has taken responsibility for his affair and is remorseful. But he asks why I feel he would rather be with his AP (who left HIM) and I explain that he builds her up and defends her, minimizing the lies she told him. He says he doesn't feel that way. Then goes back to telling he how great she was, and that maybe she's not a bad person, despite the STD she passed along to me, that will have long-term consequences for my health. He went so far as to say he wishes he had waited longer before marrying me, to get life experiences he couldn't get with me. I've worked as hard as I can, and I just can't open up to being hurt anymore. When do you know you're never going to progress past a certain point, so you might as well just get used to where you are and make the best of it?