Hi Rick. We struggle with how much to hold onto of the past. Keeping an anniversary of a marriage that I broke vows to is painful for us both. Everyone says that we have to "bury the old marriage" and let God create a new marriage. I agree with that. However, I bounce back and forth with the pain that my betrayal causes when we consider our vows of 13 years ago versus the empowerment that through the worst thing that could have happened to our marriage, we are still together! Do we celebrate 13 years or 1 year? I’m grateful the Lord truly redeemed our D-Day with great new family memories.

Our wedding anniversary was in June, and it was the most tumultuous time we've had overall. It was like digging at the open wound and letting it air out. We have had progress and resolve since then. I chose to embrace that while wedding photos and keepsakes went in the trash, at least my husband wasn't "throwing me away", so to speak. We have a wedding to attend in a few weeks. The thought of the wedding, the triggers, the couples dance of how many years couples have been married, it is all making me cringe. 

What empowerment is there in our "first marriage" for the betrayed and the unfaithful when both parties have decided to embrace recovery and stay together? Any insight and thoughts you have would be so appreciated.