We are 2 years out from his 5 month affair. We’ve done EMS and are on week 10 of Married for Life. Whenever there is conflict between us even if it’s not affair specific he gets very defensive and harps on fault he can find of mine even if it’s from 20 years ago!! He can’t seem to hear anything I’m saying in those moments and whether I’m crying or strong he is the same especially when he feels I’m upset with him or something he did. I’m so tired of this dance! When he’s calm we can talk about it, he has a hard time seeing what he can do different but is always sorry. He focuses on what he’s already improved upon. How can I be heard when he refuses to listen? How can I get him to stop using me as his scapegoat for his downfalls?