Q&A Will I Ever Get past This?

We are 15 months past full disclosure of my husband's work-affair. We have been married 29 years and have 3 wonderful adult daughters and extended family. We completed EMS Online in July, 2017--which was extremely helpful. I have forgiven him and his affair partner (whom I know), the affair ended immediately when I discovered it, he has taken full responsibility, shows remorse , etc and we are committed to our recovery. Here's the problem: I just can't seem to get past these 2 facts: it went on for 3 years and it ended only after I discovered it through his excessive texting and content of texts on his phone. The length of time is mind boggling to me as I had no clue--he was literally living 2 lives. I'm not angry anymore, I feel like I've accepted the affair because I, nor he, can change that it happened, but--I just look at him so differently now. If we weren't married--I certainly wouldn't marry him now. Rick, will I ever get past this? I'm beginning to think I won't. I hate what he did, I really don't like him now, but I do love him. Does that make sense? It's like I don't want him out of my life but is he really the husband I choose to have? So many questions, so many doubts, and so much hurt.