Years ago, I ran multiple marathons. Reflecting back, I realize that marathon running wasn't just an individual sport; it was a group effort where other competitors shared my experience. The people I trained with encouraged and pushed me, helping me achieve goals I never thought possible. During the races, other competitors motivated me and propelled me toward the finish line. Running alongside others made completing a 26.2-mile run more achievable.

Our brains are wired to assume that others will help and support us. That's why social support is critical to health and well-being

, as numerous studies have shown. A life partner, family, community, and robust social network are significant predictors of overall health and longevity in life. However, when traumatized, our brains try to convince us to avoid the very things we need for healing. It's essential not to listen to that voice.

For almost three decades, we've known that social relationships are associated with better health and well-being. In the last decade, researchers like Dr. Jim Coan have begun to discover why this is the case. Dr. Coan, known for developing Social Baseline Theory, has shown how and why staying connected to a supportive social system facilitates recovery. Our brains' primary job is to budget our bodies' limited resources for various tasks like survival, learning, digestion, healing, exercise, relationships, parenting, and work.

Our brains are wired to view others as a resource for living. Historically, communal dependence was natural, with multiple generations living under the same roof. Basic survival was shared by the community, and the same held true for humanity throughout the ages. Today, we can easily disconnect from others due to advancements in technology, but our brains still seek support from others. When in the company of safe people, our brains respond differently and enhance the healing process.

Recovering from trauma is challenging, and if your brain perceives you as alone, it has to budget your limited metabolic resources differently, making recovery longer and more stressful. Our brains constantly work to budget what's needed for safety and what we want to further acquire.

Recovery from a traumatic experience is much like moving furniture up two flights of stairs or running a marathon, only it's exponentially more difficult and takes more time. Having someone to help with life's challenges makes them more doable and more tolerable. Research has proven that when others journey with us through life's challenges, it lightens the burden, making it more manageable.

Affair Recovery programs are designed around the concept of social support and shared experiences, paired with curriculum and guidance from experts in the field who have decades of experience. This not only reduces the pain individuals are experiencing, but also results in improved physical heath. It's proven that participating with others while healing from betrayal trauma aids in emotional regulation and results in the journey feeling more doable. Connecting with others who are experiencing a similar crisis creates a safe environment for individuals to connect, share their stories, and heal together.