Rick Reynolds, LCSW
by Rick Reynolds, LCSW
Founder & President, Affair Recovery

Financial Infidelity: 6 Tips to Fix It

Financial infidelity has been rampant in the news*, as a recent poll by The American Institute of CPAs claimed that 30% of people in relationships are guilty of hidden bank accounts, lying about spending, and unauthorized withdrawals, but little has offered on how to heal the relationship. The relational harm caused by financial infidelity can be every bit as serious as emotional or sexual infidelity. Deception is the common denominator, which creates the breach of trust, regardless of the i…
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Financial infidelity

You define financial infidelity as keeping secrets? I thought it was over-spending, spending when your mate reasonably disagrees, or when it puts the family at financial risk. A mate who is having an affair that they are not keeping a secret is still unfaithful. Same with financial infidelity.

Financial Infidelity

I can totally relate to financial infidelity.

In the last several years, my husband has incurred thousands of dollars of credit card debt using several credit cards. He recently told me he needed to do that to continue his self-employment after a move to a different province. He has several bank accounts and we have one joint account that is usually empty unless I ask him to move money into it for purchases that I/we need. Not having access to money without going to him first makes me feel like a child. We have discussed this but there has been no change.

I feel shut out of our financial affairs and it scares me.

 

Financial infidelity

Thank you for sharing this article. My situation includes both financial and emotional infidelity in our marriage. I would have never thought that one followed by the other would be so damaging emotionally and to our marriage. Our relationship was destroyed and we continue to struggle. We have separate accounts both personally and for our businesses and neither has access to the others accounts. My husband also recently transferred funds from a joint account without telling me. Building trust again seems like an impossibility,as I deal with betrayal x2, but my hope is that through vital information like this and by giving myself the time and tools to go through the healing process, that I will someday come out on the other side without bitterness, being able to trust again and able to love the people around me.

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I would highly recommend giving this a try.
 
-D, Texas