I want to invite all who have been betrayed to our Annual Hope Rising Conferences - on Demand, and gain momentum, strength, and community on your journey to wholeness.

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*DISCLAIMER*

Below is a forgiveness letter written by Elizabeth, one of our weekend intensive attendees. As you'll read, she wrote this very personal letter to her husband during their early recovery work. We'd like you to know that she comes from a strong faith background which we know and respect that not all of you subscribe to. For those of you who do not come from faith, we do hope you can relish in the beauty of forgiveness and restoration which shines through her story and her very personal faith. For those who do subscribe to faith, we hope you are encouraged and find this story and vision to be a fresh stream of water in what may feel like your own personal desert.

What follows is my forgiveness letter
to my husband of twenty years:

I picture forgiveness like a thick, white gym rope. As I am holding it in my small hands, I know it's long but I can't see where it ends. I can tell it leads to something that holds the blame for all the wrongs I have suffered and all the hurt I have experienced.

Holding on to this rope represents a semblance of control, a need to find a logical conclusion that there is someone or something to blame for my pain. Letting go of the rope is like letting go of the need to find the source at fault for something so deeply wounding. It feels like I would be surrendering the need to find logical justification for my sadness and confusion. Without something to blame, the world simply doesn't make sense. So, letting go of the rope (forgiving) makes the world erratic and scary.

In my quiet time of continual prayer, I have learned to do EMDR on myself as I fall in and out of rest. Because I come from faith, I asked the Lord to let me receive what He might want me to discern and wait faithfully as my heart and mind try to sift through conflicting thoughts. Today, He led me to an image of myself as a confused 5-year-old girl wanting to do everything I could to avoid my mother's anger, to feel loved and feel a closeness to my father that I never had. I pictured myself at that age holding this heavy white rope wishing I knew why I felt it was so important to hold even though I could not see where it ended. I saw myself in a gorgeous field filled with warm sunlight. I could see all my pain and sorrow but desperately desired to be in the field. I pictured God walking in the field, inviting me to join Him. But in order to join Him, I would have to let go of the rope that anchored me to some unknown destination. As my eyes were focused on the field, I saw you and all the confusion, despair, anger and sadness I have felt. When I looked again, God revealed both of us as children holding hands in the sunlit field before the broken world tainted any part of who God meant for us to be. We were smiling - happy and innocent. I felt peace and contentment as the warmth of God's love covered us. At that point, I knew I could let go of the rope. I understood that there really isn't anyone or thing to blame. The brokenness started at the beginning of time and has shaped generations before us. The only way to move forward is in faith, in forgiveness, and by holding His hand while surrendering our future to Him.

"I forgive you."