On February 26, 2010, Peggy Vaughan changed my life. Her email began with, "You may have seen these pages on my website, but if not, you might like to see that we see the issue very much alike." Peggy's book, The Monogamy Myth: A Personal Handbook for Recovering from Affairs*, was first published in 1989 and rocked the therapy world when she promoted the concept that the secrets of infidelity needed to be brought to light and processed rather than swept under the rug. Initially, that concept was strongly resisted, but as time went on, therapists begin to understand that the damage of holding this kind of secret for a lifetime was massively detrimental.

In 2002, the, "Help for Therapists (and Their Clients) in Dealing with Affairs," survey was conducted and published by Peggy in the hopes of helping therapists see how they were missing the mark. I personally found the results very disturbing. Why are therapists not more effective? I wondered.

Here are some examples from the survey:

Over the next two years, Peggy became a good friend and an amazing encourager. On one occasion as we were discussing her research, we discussed the concept of running the research again to see if we therapists had made any progress. However, before I had the chance to put things in place for the research project, Peggy lost her four-year battle with cancer. I lost someone dear to my heart that day, and the research project fell to the wayside.

Recently I came across Peggy's original research paper again. It reminded me of the sweet relationship I had with her and our plan to rerun that research. Have therapists improved their effectives in treating infidelity? Have they become more helpful, or are they just as frustrating as they were in 2002? Was Peggy right in her hypothesis that simply talking about it is beneficial to healing?

I hope you'll participate with us in honoring my friend by finding the answers to these questions. The more participants, the more effective the results will be. I believe YOUR experience will help guide the field! We look forward to sharing these results with you.

The links below will take you to our new research survey.