Additional Resources

Betrayal

• Keep Walking: 40 Days to Hope and Freedom After Betrayal - A Devotional written by our own Survivors' Blogger, Lynn Cherry.
• Worthy of Her Trust: What You Need to Do to Rebuild Sexual Integrity and Win Her Back by Stephen Arterburn and Jason B. Martinkus.
• Not Just Friends by Shirley P. Glass.
• The Monogamy Myth: A Personal Handbook for Recovering from Affairs by Peggy Vaughan.
• Healing Your Marriage When Trust is Broken: Finding Forgiveness and Restoration by Cindy Beall.
• Rebuilding a Marriage Better than New by Cindy Beall.
• Private Lies: Infidelity and the Betrayal of Intimacy by Frank Pittman.
• When Godly People do Ungodly Things by Beth Moore.
• After the Affair by Janis A. Spring.
• Unfaithful: Hope and Healing After Infidelity by Gary and Mona Shriver.
• Rescued: A woman's guide to surviving and thriving after sexual betrayal by Shelley S. Martinkus.
• Should I Stay or go?: How Controlled Separation (CS) Can Save Your Marriage by Lee Raffel.
• Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love by Dorothy Tennov.
• Sailing Home: Using the Wisdom of Homer's Odyssey to Navigate Life's Perils and Pitfalls by Norman Fischer.
• A Fierce Love: One Woman's Courageous Journey to Save Her Marriage by Shauna Shanks.
• The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity by Esther Perel.
• Living with limerence: A guide for the smitten by Dr. L
• The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Hurts You the Worst by Michelle Mays, LPC CSAT-S.
• The Myth of the Greener Grass by J. Allan Petersen.

Parenting

• Parenting from the Inside Out: How a Deeper Self-Understanding Can Help You Raise Children Who Thrive by Daniel J. Siegel.
• Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child The Heart of Parenting by Ph.D. John Gottman (Author), Joan Declaire (Author), Daniel Goleman (Foreword).
• The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind by Daniel J. Siegel.
• Families Where Grace Is in Place: Building a Home Free of Manipulation, Legalism and Shame by Jeff VanVonderen.
• Parents Who Cheat: How Children and Adults Are Affected When Their Parents Are Unfaithful by Dr. Ana Nogales Ph.D. and Laura Golden Bellotti

Marriage

• Boundaries in Marriage by Henry Cloud and John Townsend (used in Married for Life following EMSO/EMSW courses).
• Love Must be Tough by James Dobson.
• Intimacy Ignited by Linda Dillow and Lorraine Pintus.
• Restoring the Pleasure: Complete Step-by-Step Programs to Help Couples Overcome the Most Common Sexual Barriers by Clifford L. Penner and Joyce J. Penner.
• Crucial Conversations by Patterson.
• Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski .
• Rekindling Desire by Barry and Emily McCarthy.
• What Makes Love Last?: How to Build Trust and Avoid Betrayal by John Gottman, Ph.D., and Nan Silver.
• Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence by Esther Perel.
• The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples by John M. Gottman, Ph.D.
• The Art of Loving by Erich Fromm.
• The Couple's Guide to Intimacy: How Sexual Reintegration Therapy Can Help Your Relationship Heal by Dr. Bill Bercaw CSAT CST and Dr. Ginger Bercaw CSAT CST.
• The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Know to Make Love Work by Terry Real.
• The Intimacy Factor: The Ground Rules for Overcoming the Obstacles to Truth, Respect, and Lasting Love by Pia Mellody.
• Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love by Helen Fisher, Ph.D.
• Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help YouFind - and Keep - Love by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller.
• Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner's Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship by Stan Tatkin PsyD MFT.
• Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship by Terrence Real.
• How to Act Right When Your Spouse Acts Wrong by Leslie Vernick.

Shame

• Daring Greatly by Brené Brown, Ph.D., L.M.S.W.
• Shame Interrupted by Edward T. Welch.
• Healing the Hurts of Your Past: A Guide to Overcoming the Pain of Shame by F. Remy Diederich.
• The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown, Ph.D., L.M.S.W.
• Self-Esteem: A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving, and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem by Matthew McKay.

Forgiving

• How Can I Forgive You? The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To by Janis A. Spring, Ph.D., and Michael Spring.
• Forgive for Good: A Proven Prescription for Health and Happiness by Frederic Luskin.
• Stuck: How to Overcome Your Anger and Reclaim Your Life by F. Remy Diederich.
• The Gift of Forgiveness by Charles Stanley.
• Forgiving What You Can't Forget: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That's Beautiful Again by Lysa TerKeurst.
• Forgive and Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don't Deserve by Lewis B. Smedes.
• The New Freedom of Forgiveness by David Augsburger.
• Forgiving the Unforgivable by David A. Stoop, Ph.D.
• The Book of Forgiving: The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World by Desmond Tutu and Mpho Tutu.
• Forgiving and Reconciling: Bridges to Wholeness and Hope by Everett L. Worthington.

Lust and Sexual Addiction

• Every Man's Battle by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker.
• Out of the Shadows by Patrick J. Carnes Ph.D.
• Surfing for God by Michael John Cusick.
• Addiction and Grace: Love and Spirituality in the Healing of Addictions by Gerald G. May.
• Understanding and Loving a Person with Sexual Addiction by Stephen Arterburn, Jason B. Martinkus, and Shelley S. Martinkus.
• Breathing Under Water: Spirituality and the Twelve Steps by Richard Rohr O.F.M.
• In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction by Gabor Maté, MD and Peter A. Levine, Ph.D.
• Don't Call it Love: Recovery from Sexual Addiction by Patrick Carnes.
• Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing by Jay Stringer.

Co-Dependency

• One-Way Relationships by Alfred Ells.
• When People Are Big and God is Small by Edward T. Welch.
• Facing Codependence: What It Is, Where It Comes from, How It Sabotages Our Lives by Pia Mellody, Andrea Wells Miller, and J. Keith Miller.

Trauma

• The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van derk Kolk M.D.
• Healing Trauma: Restoring the Wisdom of the Body by Peter A. Levine.
• Trauma and Memory: Brain and Body in a Search for the Living Past by Peter A. Levine Ph.D. and Bessel A. van der Kolk M.D.
• Brain Lock: Free Yourself from Obsessive-Compulsive Behavior by Jeffrey M. Schwartz, M.D., with Beverly Beyette.
• The Complete Idiot's Guide to Conquering Obsessive-Compulsive Behavior by Bruce Mansbridge, Ph.D.
• Wounded Heart: Hope for Adult Victims of Childhood Sexual by Dan B. Allender, Ph.D., with Karen Lee-Thorp.
  • The Wounded Heart: A Companion Workbook for Personal or Group Use by Dan B. Allender, Ph.D., with Karen Lee-Thorp.
• [Documentary] The Wisdom of Trauma: Can our deepest pain be a doorway to healing? Featuring Dr. Gabor Maté.
  • Limited Time Free Access Viewing
  • Official Film Page
• What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing by Bruce D. Perry, MD, PhD and Oprah Winfrey.
• Your Brain Is a Safe Space: How to Stop Trauma and PTSD from Controlling Your Life (Trauma release exercises and mental care) by Michele Rosenthal

Spiritual Growth

• Strong Women, Soft Hearts by Paula Rinehart.
• The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck.
• The People of the Lie by M. Scott Peck.
• Abba's Child: The Cry of the Heart for Intimate Belonging by Brennan Manning.
• Wild at Heart by John Eldredge.
• From Wild Man to Wise Man: Reflections on Male Spirituality by Richard Rohr O.F.M. and Joseph Martos.
• Celebration of Discipline: The Path to Spiritual Growth by Richard J. Foster.
• Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis.
• The Law of Happiness: How Spiritual Wisdom and Modern Science Can Change Your Life (The Secret Things of God) by Dr. Henry Cloud.
• Letters to Leaders: Worship Edition: (What I Wish I Had Known) by Rodney L. Carter.

Building Good Habits

• The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Restoring the Character Ethic by Stephen R. Covey.
• Changing for Good: A Revolutionary Six-Stage Program for Overcoming Bad Habits and Moving Your Life Positively Forward by James O. Prochaska, Ph.d., John c. Norcross, Ph.d., and Carlo C. DiClemte, Ph.D.
• The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business by Charles Duhigg.
• Mastery: The Keys to Success and Long-Term Fulfillment by George Leonard.

Emotional Well Being

• Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by David D. Burns M.D.
• The Grief Recovery Handbook by John W. James & Russell Friedman.
• Permission to Feel: Unlocking the Power of Emotions to Help Our Kids, Ourselves, and Our Society Thrive by Marc Brackett, Ph.D.
• Healing for Damaged Emotions by David Seamands.
• Transitions: Making Sense of Life's Changes by William Bridges, Ph.D. and Susan Bridges.

Leadership

• Motivational Interviewing: Helping People Change by William R. Miller and Stephen Rollnick.
• Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting Out of the Box by the Arbinger Institute.

Uncategorized

• Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well by Douglas Stone and Sheila Heen.
• King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine by Robert Moore and Doug Gillette.
• Internal Family Systems Therapy, Second Edition by Richard Schwartz and Martha Sweezy.
• Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl.
• A Million Miles in a Thousand Years: What I Learned While Editing My Life by Donald Miller.
• Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die by Chip Heath and Dan Heath.
• Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience by Brené Brown.
• Safe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren't by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend.
• Enough About You, Let’s Talk About Me: How to Recognize and Manage the Narcissists in Your Life by Dr. Les Carter.
• When You’re the One Who Cheats: Ten Things You Need To Know by Dr. Tammy Nelson.
• The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini.

*Note: We hope you find these resources helpful. If you decide to purchase a book using a link on this page, Affair Recovery may collect a share of the sales or other compensation.