We are so excited to finally share with you a brand new season of 'Songs for the Soul' with Rodney...
Part 1: Difficulties with Intimacy Part 2: Difficulties with Intimacy for the Betrayed Part 3: Difficulties with Intimacy for the Unfaithful
In recent years, one of the most popular topics in sexology has been female sexual desire disorders. For the past four decades, women have been pathologized for not being like men.
For instance, according to University of British Columbia psychiatrist Rosemary Basson, "sexual difficulties are particularly prevalent among women seeking routine gynecological care. In population surveys, some 30%–35% of women aged 18–70 have reported a lack of sexual desire during the previous 1–12 months." The percentage of...
Years ago, I ran multiple marathons. Reflecting back, I realize that marathon running wasn't just an individual sport; it was a group effort where other competitors shared my experience. The people I trained with encouraged and pushed me, helping me achieve goals I never thought possible. During the races, other competitors motivated me and propelled me toward the finish line. Running alongside others made completing a 26.2-mile run more achievable.
Our brains are wired to assume that others will help and support us. That's why social support is critical to health and well-being
Join other betrayed mates on the path to healing with our life-changing Harboring Hope online course and start a better, brighter chapter.
Long ago when I was first starting out in business, I had a friend who abused and misused me. The circumstance was simple. After committing to partner with me on a business plan, he told me he had found a more promising partner, took my idea and ran away. In the blink of an eye, I was on the outside, crushed by the fickle state of relationships. What I felt then were the same emotions many experience when first discovering infidelity. (Although, I recognize the intensity of the pain pales in comparison to what Stephanie experienced with my own betrayal over three decades years ago).
When my business partner left me, at first I felt devastated and alone. I...
Did you marry the wrong person? A whopping 30% of divorced women believe they did, at least according to Jennifer Gauvain.1 How can so many people be getting it wrong? Was the other party so deceptive that they were fooled into marrying the wrong person? Or perhaps they failed to listen to their own intuition and chose to marry anyway, only to discover later that they made a grievous, life-alterning mistake? Perhaps it isn't about who you married but rather your expectations of the marriage.
Years ago, a friend told me, "To keep from getting in trouble with your landlord, use straight pins to hang your pictures. That way, when it's time to move, the holes will not be nearly as noticeable." But when my newly hung pictures began crashing to the floor, I learned a valuable lesson: Don't hang your pictures on something unless you're sure it can bear the...
Recently, I was talking with a client about the concept of powerlessness. In most 12 step recovery programs, the first step is to acknowledge we are powerless and our lives are unmanageable. Something I find to be an excellent antidote to powerlessness and unmanageability is acceptance. I also find acceptance to be a crucial part of healing after an affair:
Acceptance is the beginning of hope. Until we can accept that as truth, we are powerless. We will be destined to continue longing for change in areas we’ve...
Today, I'd like to share an excerpt from our Harboring Hope course.
As you may or may not know, all of our authors, contributors, therapists, and vloggers have personally survived an infidelity crisis. When we say “we get it,” we really do. We understand your pain and frustration and desperate need for clarity and direction. We've felt your struggle personally and have lived to tell about it. We are here to help guide you through it.
This article is not just for the Betrayed individual. Reading the material below will prove extremely beneficial for the unfaithful individual in terms of gaining a better understanding of the betrayed's road ahead. While it's not an easy journey, it is a possible one and with the right help, we can minimize unnecessary collateral damage for all parties involved.
Join other...
This week's article explores the question: "After the affair came to light, what didn't you know that you needed to know?"
A hundred wayward spouses could tell you what they wish they'd known, and all of their responses would carry some merit. Today, however, I'd like to turn the lens on myself — an unfaithful spouse — to share six things I wish I'd known as well as what I've observed over my 30-plus years of marriage.
Yes, I perpetrated the infidelity, but the devastation and loss belonged to my...
One of the most frustrating issues when recovering from betrayal trauma is the ongoing emotional flooding that comes from the loss, deception, reminders, and intrusive thoughts. Long after a couple commits to work on the marriage, a fire-breathing trauma-dragon will raise its head and scorch the little progress they make. I call it a dragon because this type of trauma appears as if from nowhere for a ruthless surprise attack. This dragon of trauma is difficult to describe, so it can seem imaginary to those around you who don't know this kind of pain. For you though, it feels so big and so impossible to manage that recovery often seems utterly hopeless.
Join other betrayed mates on the path to healing with our life-changing Harboring Hope online course and start a better, brighter...
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