I am the hurt spouse, and my wife and I have been through the EMSO Online course. I thought we were going to continue with the MFL program, but she needed a break. I started to do some of the MFL lessons alone, just to find advice or methods to improve our situation. When I share my lesson, she gets very defensive and upset. She says she would like to just forget the last 5 years which included 2 1/2 years of her affair and the repercussions of her leaving for about a year, then returning home with no intent to work on our relationship. I believe if we just ignore that 5 years, it could happen again and want to get to a spot where I feel safe it won't repeat. In the EMSO course she actually admitted it could happen again, but not with the former AP who dumped her twice for other women. Do you have any advice or thoughts on how to initiate a discussion of learning from our past to make a better future? Are there any particular ideas that I need to work on in the discussion? I really have forgiven her the affair, but I don't feel safe since she seems to want a marriage without total commitment and absolutely prohibits any physical intimacy at this time.