I have asked before about my spouse taking a polygraph to prove to me whether or not he is still being deceitful about his emotional affair and contact with his AP and you gave me an excellent reference for a person who specializes in those. However, my spouse said he would not take one Unless he could get a 100% guarantee that there would be no false positives. In my book, that means "no, I will not take one" since everyone knows that polygraphs are not 100%. I think this answer means that he is hiding something big that he is afraid will come out during a polygraph. I have never felt I received the deep full disclosure that I have needed and was hoping that taking a polygraph would put my mind at rest -- regardless if how the results turned out. To me, if he has nothing to hide, he should have said "bring it on!" And not needed the "guarantee". Am I wrong in my thoughts that this implies there is more than he has told me ( which is very little)? In your experience, do you think a person who answers like that is still hiding something of importance? Or am I making too much of this....

We are in week 3 of EMSO. I have seen a complete 180 turn in my husband's attitude and desire to work things out. He started out telling about one affair in July of last year and only after me finding out on my own did he tell me about other's on Christmas Day. However it wasn't until we told our Story in week one that we finally got to ground zero and I found out that he had been cheating for 16 of our 26 years of marriage. He is working really hard at being open and honest and really committed to the program. My issue is trusting this is real and lasting. He has been a master of lies and deceit which he now owns and he 'gets it'. When do you start trusting that the safety is real? He has said he has no desire to contact any of his AP's but struggles with the withdrawal of the lifestyle he has lived. Creating the 'new normal'. I want to believe with my whole heart that this change will last but my heart is not whole....it is still in pieces. He feels better with everything out in the open but I am really only two weeks in at ground zero. We are doing so good it but it scares me to believe it is real...any
advice would be greatly appreciated.

Hi Rick - my wife and I have a question on something that may come up on a job interview. One of my boundaries is to not have a 1-on-1 meal with a member of the opposite sex, and to say " I'm sorry, but one of my policies to honor my wife is to not have a 1-on-1 meal with a woman." (I got this from one of your other Q&A sessions). I have a job interview coming up with a woman who would likely be my boss; how do I handle it if she says something to the effect of "let's grab a bite and discuss this more"? I'm going to try to make sure a mealtime would not be included during the interview process, but I'd like to know your thoughts in case it does come up in an unexpected way. Do I say what I'd say in a normal work situation, even though it may be awkward during an interview? Thanks!