Can you talk a little bit about intrusive images? When I get triggered and run off with intrusive images of my husband's unfaithfulness, he frequently prays against the enemy's attack. I get angry because I feel like these images are, not memories per se, but thoughts I have. It's like remembering going to the store or something. If I dwell on them and fall apart, if I try to replace them with thoughts about God's faithfulness, or so forth, and they stay and continue to plague me, then I would consider it an attack.

Also I don't want any further details about his affairs (I have very few details- mainly that it was 9 women), but I wonder if I'm making it harder for myself because then I can let my mind run rampant and anything could be possible, because I have no details.

Lastly, could you explain the process of EMDR, how it is done, some theory (how on earth does it work?) how many appointments it takes, etc. It doesn't erase memories, but it takes the sting away? As if years had passed?

Thank you, Yoda.

Hi Rick,
I have a question about triggers. My husband and I are nearly two years into recovery. At this point I am still dealing with a multitude of triggers. Actually, I am not even sure to call them triggers. Sometimes they are more just like thoughts of the affairs and events. I have no idea what my gain is from this and I don't know why I am still doing it. If I am very busy and distracted I do much better but as soon as I get a break my brain goes back to thinking about it. Also, I am having a difficult time changing the lens in which I see my husband through. He had multiple affairs. Many that were just sexual and the last resulting in an emotional and sexual affair. I had no idea. Not even one little clue he was doing this. So fast forward a little bit and like I said we are two years into recovery. He is doing a good job creating safety and doing the necessary steps to heal. I do see many good things about my husband despite his past behaviors however, many times I can't stop thinking about him as a liar and cheater in addition to the good traits he has. I think this is hindering some of our growth. I look at it this way....I have spent nearly 30 years developing into the person I am. Striving to be honest, moral and dependable. It is not an easy task but I have been this type of person to varying degrees for most of my life. So in return atleast all the years I have known my husband he has been a liar and cheater to some degree. His actions have changed drastically but it is not enough to change my entire perspective.
Thank you again for your help.