My husband and I have just reached our 6 month out since his 2nd d day. He has not had any contact with the AP that I am aware of and does not try to hide any devices or anything like that. He has also continued to work on building trust with me and our children. However, I have noticed a change in his behavior toward me when I need to talk about my feelings or tell him that I am scared and anxious. I have told him that because of his reaction and response to me (for example he is defensive, shuts down, says things that hurt me so I will stop talking, etc...) is causing me to stay stuck. I don't know what has happened...he was so humble and broken and seemed to find freedom in the truth and even said he wasn't going to hide in shame. There are many instances lately where I get the "red flag" alert. Old patterns of behavior such as self loathing, not really answering a question I ask...but not lying more like withholding information, stopped attending men prayer group, lost his desire to actively pursue recovery, etc... I told him that I feel safer when he is actively pursuing recovery for himself but he thought "he was doing better" and would just go to his counselor when needed. He keeps asking me what I want him to do but I can tell he is very resentful about it. I even told him not to do anything for me anymore....that if it didn't come from his heart to better himself and our relationship then it wouldn't work anyway. What do I do? I feel like I need to protect myself and withdraw because I am afraid of getting hurt again....I fear a relapse coming. Just fyi...I am continuing to go to have counseling, I have signed up for Harboring Hope, I read and listen to articles and audios on here and Beyond Affairs Network and we are still in Married for Life. I am doing everything I know to do to work on me for me.

My wife has finally come clean, I believe, and seems to be doing the hard work necessary for our healing. It's been several years since the first D-day and about 6 months since she's finally accepted full responsibility for her choices. I've tried to wait and work on myself, but after years of lies as well as now finding out the quantity and types of disgusting behaviors my wife was involved in both before we met and after we married, I have basically no sexual desire for her. We both grew up in Christian homes and are very active in ministry. I don't want to live the rest of my life like this, and we are really trying to make it work. Can you share anything that can help?