I am a betrayed husband starting Harboring Hope. As I go through the discussion forum, I find all kinds of different affair scenarios, ways of deception, false starts to healing due to relapses, failures to disclose, etc. It makes me paranoid and more doubtful of my wife when, in fact, we're already at ground zero .... but are we? One new affair scenario, one new way to deceive equals more questioning, obsessing and fishing for more disclosures. This doesn't seem healthy.