I am 8 months post D-Day and recently gave my wife an ultimatum: participate in affair recovery treatment or divorce. My requirements were that she attends individual therapy, join a Hope for Healing class, and consent to a polygraph as I knew there were additional affairs that she was still being untruthful about. Her response was simply "That’s fine, I'm done anyway." When I spoke to my pastor regarding the infidelity, he blamed me for being away for work, hunting too much, etc. His immediate response was cold and heartless, and left me feeling completely abandoned. I know he meant well, but it was clear he didn't understand the situation. Do you have any recommendations to help pastors with understanding how infidelity affects us, and how to best deal with it?