I am wondering if it's normal for me to feel ambivalent about my husband the betrayer. He's truly trying to make things work and while although I do love him, I do not feel we should continue being husband and wife. I feel he took that choice from me when he had the AP for 2 years, then an illegitimate baby with her, and then he moved out. I would like us to be friends. But I feel sad and depressed about the divorce even though I also feel like it's the right thing for me. We were college sweethearts and together for 21 years. I feel if he can do that to me after 20 years what can I expect from the next set of decades. Our marriage is no longer worth the risk to me. D-Day was 01/22/2017. Illegitimate baby was born 3/2017. Does it ever feel ok to get the divorce? Thank you so much for taking the time it must take to help people like me.