Q&A How Do I Handle Wanting and Getting Comfort From My Spouse Who Is the One That Caused So Much Pain?

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Question: 

How do I handle wanting and getting comfort from my spouse who is the one that caused so much pain? My husband also wants to provide that comfort, however, he feels undeserving due to his shame. We are stuck in this cycle of pain and fear.

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Thank you for this!

Thank you so much for putting this video out! This is exactly where I am at the moment. I am crushed by my UW's actions and cannot believe the person she has shown herself to be. Yet 15 years of sharing life with her makes me feel like she is the one whose comfort I want the most. It is horribly confusing in the moment.

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I would highly recommend giving this a try.
 
-D, Texas