My mate and I are in week 7 of EMSO, D-Day was 3 1/2 months ago second D-Day 1 1/2 months ago, and we are working hard towards reconciliation. My question is about getting back things that were given to my AP, like a special nickname I used with my wife before my affair or a song in the same manner. I hate the thought that these things that used to make my mate feel special are now triggers. Is there any way of taking these things back? I just feel that these are stumbling blocks, slowing down recovery and are painful reminders of my affair. I want to give my spouse back which I wrongfully gave to another, but I don't know where to begin. Do you have thoughts regarding this topic? We have found the information with affair recovery to be extremely valuable and cannot imagine walking through this pain with the tools we have gained from AR.