I am writing this question as the betrayed spouse who found out about my spouse's emotional affair recently. We have been able to attend an EMS Weekend & have both worked on our healing with counselors, coaches and with many AR videos. There often comes time to give an affirmation or compliment to your spouse during certain building exercises. While I know positive feelings & thoughts are important to express to your spouse, I struggle as a betrayed spouse by being triggered-knowing that compliments and affirmations were what he sought after & received quite readily from the affair partner. Before betrayal I feel I could do this easier & now I find myself resisting. Is it because I still feel unsafe? How can I overcome this? Knowing that it is important, but also knowing this was a big reason he looked outside of our marriage.