Q&A Can I Forgive My Husband for Abandonment?

We have done a really great job healing from the dual infidelity and improving communication in every day conflict, but I am stuck now on abandonment betrayal trauma. He left me as a 2 week postpartum mom for years as a teenager, but I thought he was just a teenager and it wouldn’t happen again. After various smaller instances of prioritizing ex-girlfriends and family, but mostly his mom, he committed an act I’m just not sure I can move forward from. He left me at home to go meet his mom on an uncomplicated day to transfer our kids while I went into labor, begged him to come home, and had a random friend get me to the hospital last minute where I proceeded to hemorrhage. I could’ve died at home. I needed blood transfusions, painful procedures, and medications. He never acknowledged this event or the healing it would require and I beat myself into submission. Now, I’m not sure I can recover because the wound has bit hit so many times. It feels worse than infidelity, it feels like I can’t trust him with even my life. I do know one problem is that my husband has not been empathetic in understanding this pain, has gaslit me about this to where I now understand it was psychologically abusive and drove me into a state of mind in which I should have left the marriage at that time. I was able to put my pain aside to help him heal for a long time, but can no longer do it. I’m not sure if you have anything to help, but please let us know if you do.